When the comedy event of the season happens to be a Vice Presidential Debate, I can’t help but steal the shtick made famous by ESPN’s Bill Simmons (aka The Sports Guy). You guessed it — the Running Diary!
7:31: And we’re live from Eagan, MN, home of snubbed GOP VP shortlister, Tim Pawlenty. Surprise! Bill O’Reilly is Keith Olbermann’s Worst Person in the World!
8:01: I randomly selected ABC as the channel on which to watch the talk-off.
8:04: Standard bailout answer from Joe Biden. Nothing to see here; move along.
8:07: Sarah Palin wastes no time appealing to the soccer moms. Fearmonger alert! Soccer moms across the U.S. are frightened! If only people had listened when John McCain tried to fix it.
8:10: Damn. Just heard her utter the word “reform” about four times in five seconds. Meant to keep a running total on the words “reform”, “maverick”, “Joe Six-Pack”, and “Hockey/Soccer Mom.”
8:13: Joe Biden points out “John’s” de-regulation record. Also, we hear the first anecdotal story from Joe about a guy named Joey who couldn’t fill up his gas tank.
8:16: Governer Palin is sticking to her talking points and basically ignoring the debate questions. She even slipped in a piece of her stump speech. Nice.
8:22: Biden declares shenanigans on the McCain health care fleece… er, plan…bridge to nowhere…whatever you want to call it…
8:24: “Up there in Alaska.” Add that one to the list.
8:27: Hey, Joe – that’s Governer Palin’s catch phrase! You can’t say “Up there in Alaska!”
8:29: I hate when those greedy Main Streeters muck up our Wall Street.
8:42: A plan for Iraq? How novel!
8:44: “Yer plan is a White flag of serrender.” Ohhh nooo, we can’t have that now, can we? A white flag would clash with the “Mission Accomplished” banner.
8:49: nuclear: nu·cle·ar [noo-klee-er]. Not nook-yuh-ler! We’ve already been subjected to one prominent member of the executive branch who rapes this word incessently. Haven’t we suffered enough?
8:53: “…waning days of the Bush administration…” By far the best thing Governer Palin’s said so far tonight!
8:56: Buzzwords! Change is comin’! Reform is comin’! Rufflin’ feathers! Maverick!
9:04: Governer Palin tries the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer defense. “I’m justa’ Washington outsider, I don’t understand yer crazy Washington ways.”
9:17: Sitting Vice President Vader thinks the VP should have more power. Agree? You betcha!
9:19: At least one of the candidates understands the role of VP.
9:21: “America stands fer bein’ unapologetic…” To admit mistakes is to admit defeat! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
9:23: Okay, could someone define “Maverick”? Tom Cruise in Top Gun? Mel Gibson? James Garner?
9:25: Ahh, there’s the definition. Empty, B.S. political slogan. Thanks, Joe Biden.
9:31: Switching to Fox News. Brit Hume giving his synopsis. He doesn’t think Fox News will have the capacity to sort out the facts. That’s likely true.
9:37: Bill Kristol: “I’m so biased.” Gee, ya think? On that note, I think I’ll turn off the TV.
There were a couple fender-benders, but this debate wasn’t the train wreck some were hoping to see. Here are my thoughts regarding the McCain/Palin candidacy: Governer Palin proved that she is not a complete and utter disaster, and John McCain is likable enough. However, we’ve just had eight years of “Average Joe” rule and will suffer the fallout for generations. Like millions of other progressive Americans, I love my country and believe in the promise it offers. How can we possibly expect to attain greatness by electing average leaders?
i will agree with you and say that palin was a total joke as a vp pick. i dont think i could have put it better myself than matt damon himself. mccain dies, which is probable, and she is our president? WTF? that would be a mess to say the least.